Because EVIL is Good!

Hopefully you are also a fan of one of my favorite movies, Vampire in Brooklyn, in order to get today’s corny blog title. Yes, I am aware that Vampire in Brooklyn is no Oscar-worthy masterpiece – but it is a classic TO ME! But that’s not why we’re here.

When CBS announced its new show Evil, starring Luke Cage himself Mike Colter, of course I was excited to add another supernatural show to my weekly TV schedule. The show is about Kristen Bouchard, a forensic psychologist hired by Mike Colter’s character, David Acosta, to help determine if a case is supernatural or not. David is a priest in training and Kristen is not religious at all but she finds her non-beliefs tested every episode. Throughout the season we have seen cases of possible demonic possession, potential prophets, a stabbing, a psycho abusive nurse, possessed virtual reality goggles, a prophet, and in the seasons penultimate episode we see the actual devil. It’s a lot.

Evil is kind of all over the place but for some reason I enjoy it regardless. For this season to end at 13 episodes this week, so much has happened. The character development is moving really quickly but it is still easy to follow along. We have been introduced to so many different plot twists that I am not sure they will all be able to wrap up on Thursday’s episode. Evil is creepy but also a procedural type drama as well. Most times you think something supernatural is happening and then Kristen is able to explain it away with psychology. But there is always something lingering in the background…something letting you know that maybe everything can’t be explained away.

I am certainly excited to see how this season wraps up on Thursday’s finale. Evil has already been renewed for season 2 and will return in the fall.

New Year - New Scares: The Grudge

Happy New Year, positive vibrations, and all those good things! I know it’s been a while- I was out here island hopping and such for the holidays. But in 2020 I promise to bring you more posts about all things horror!

I saw my first horror movie of the year this weekend- The Grudge. I remember seeing the ones from the early 2000s and thinking that they were cool, but I wasn’t pressed to watch them over and over again like I do other movies. So I was a little apprehensive about going to see this new one, but you know I never pass up an opportunity to see a horror movie!

 The film begins in Tokyo in 2004, the same timeframe as the original Grudge movie. Fiona Landers is working a job there and decides she is too creeped out and wants to return home to her family in Pennsylvania. The movie then jumps to 2006 to introduce us to Detective Muldoon, a widowed mother, and her new partner, Det. Goodman. After that the movie jumps between 2004, 2005, and 2006 so much that you will get dizzy if you’re not paying close attention. In this timeframe we ae introduced to everyone who will be affected by the curse: The married realtors who tried to sell the Flanders home before they died, an elderly couple that move into the house the next year, Detective Goodman’s partner who worked the original case, and a nurse that visited the elderly couple. The time hop throughout the movie shows how the curse affects everyone who has entered the house but can be a bit confusing at times. By the end of the movie, you will see how everyone is connected, but the back and forth of the years wasn’t really necessary. There are so many characters and we have to learn about every single back story so we can create an emotional connection (I guess that’s what the writers were trying to do) that it becomes really overwhelming. There are so many people we have to care about that it makes you wonder if Detective Muldoon is really the main focus of this movie.

The Grudge is definitely suspenseful but a lot of the jump scares don’t work. There are lots of shadows in the background and things that pop out at you but the movie only really gets intense in the last 20 minutes. Detective Muldoon thinks she has figured out a way to save everyone – burn down this cursed house! As the viewer you know this won’t work because clearly the curse followed Fiona from Japan but ok white woman burn your little house down I guess. My cousin made a hilarious point that made me laugh so hard I couldn’t breathe. The house is located at 44 Reyburn Drive. According to my cousin, from the beginning they were telling us, “she rey burn this house down.” I cried y’all.

Overall, this movie was not horrible. I don’t think it was a good idea to have the movie jump between the years and involve so many different characters. The movie is only 94 minutes long and there are almost a dozen characters we have to see individual storylines for. The cliffhanger ending leads me to believe there could be a sequel. I’m good luv, enjoy.  

Hey Ma, What's Up?

Been gone for a minute but I’m back with the jump off. 

Hey guys! I know it’s been a little while- I was out here traveling the world and spreading this black girl magic across Caribbean islands. But you know I couldn’t stay away from my love of horror! As soon as I came back I headed to the theaters to see Ma. It was interesting. Let’s discuss.

Ma tells the story of Maggie and her friends, high school kids who need to find an adult to buy them alcohol. That’s where Ma (played brilliantly by Octavia Spencer. She is a beast!) comes in. She is nice enough to buy the kids liquor AND give them a safe space to drink so they don’t run around town drinking and driving. What follows next is pure crazy. Ma becomes a super stalker, adding all of the kids on social media and popping up at school with a case of liquor. Her house becomes the party house for all of the kids and when Maggie and her friends start to get creeped out by Ma and want to keep their distance her crazy goes into overdrive.

I think my main issue with this movie is all of the different plot twists that the writers tried to add. It was like playing connect the dots. First, we realize that Maggie and her boyfriend’s parents went to school with Ma. They were involved in some horrible prank that scarred Ma forever. We also learn that a girl we see for literally 5 seconds at the beginning of the movie is Ma’s daughter that she keeps locked away in the house because Ma has Munchausen Syndrome by proxy. Like, why? What does that have to do with her being teased in high school?

There is also minor character development with Maggie and her mom. You enjoy their relationship and you know that they have moved back home due to her mom’s divorce but that’s about it. Ma explores so many topics and character plot points but then kind of lets them fall flat.

Something that I found interesting was the way they wanted to touch on racism but never completely made it all the way there. Ma holds a gun early on in the movie and makes a joke saying, “What y’all think I’m Madea?” I found that extra funny just because the point being made is that Madea is such a stereotypical black character. But don’t get me started on my Tyler Perry and black stereotype tangent. We would be here all day. Also, at the end of the movie, Ma paints the only black kid’s face white. She even says, ‘There is only room for one of us.” I feel like if there was going to be so many racial undertones in the movie then it should have been explored a little deeper. Instead, the jokes and odd comments felt uncomfortable and out of place.

I did enjoy Ma. The word I keep using when people ask how I feel is “interesting.” The storyline was interesting. It reminded you of different movies you have seen before like Carrie and Misery… but then had its own personal twist. Octavia Spencer truly saved the movie because of how WELL she played crazy. If it wasn’t for her I would have probably hated the movie but she really kept the movie exciting. The ending was also so strange. She lets everyone escape just to go upstairs, lay in bed, and die in the fire? Weird. Just weird. So like I said, the movie was interesting. Just…interesting.

Glass: The Only Time We Get to See Black Crack?

20 years later we got the completion to a trilogy we never knew we needed. Glass picks up where Split left off. We learn what happened to David Dunn after he accepted he was a superhero- he has spent all these years seeking vigilante justice with his son by his side. Determined to catch the beast, he embarks on a mission to catch him and save his new hostages. In the midst of their battle he gets captured by Ellie Staple, a doctor who wants to work with them and the infamous Mr. Glass to cure them of the delusion of them being superheroes. 

This movie kept me on the edge of my seat pretty much the whole time. Not much about it was predictable, especially the ending. *Spoiler alert* I certainly did not expect all of them to die. I was so angry for a good two minutes. But then I realized it had to happen in order for Mr. Glass to win. And what’s better than a black man coming out on top?

My anger really came from the fact that we waited almost twenty years for this conclusion to have David Dunn die. I was so devastated. Of course the beast had to die. Mr. Glass? I guess. But David Dunn Lawd?! I felt like Jada Pinkett Smith when she fell out in Kingdom Come! 

I also was really disappointed in the final showdown. I was so hyped up for this big battle to take place on Philly's tallest building and wow... it takes place in a parking lot. It’s like wanting Popeyes but you get a chicken box instead. The chicken is still really good but it’s not the taste you had in mind. You get me?

Overall I really enjoyed Glass. I know this movie is supposed to be a trilogy but I would love to see how the secret society falls after the world finds out about superheroes. 

What were your thoughts about Glass?

Escape Room Advanced Screening

Last week, Black Girl Horror attended an advance screening of Escape Room. The movie is based around the typical Escape Room that most of us have gone to in our local city with our friends and worked hard to break out of. But soon the 6 characters learn that this Escape Room is unlike any other they have ever seen. 

This movie really stressed me out. Do you know how hard it is to do an escape room with people you actually know and are supposed to trust? Imagine having to actually have your life or death depend on total strangers. This movie was intense from beginning to end. 

Another great bonus of this movie is we get to see Jay Ellis with no shirt on. That is a spoiler alert worth sharing!

I definitely recommend going to see Escape Room when it releases on January 4. It will make you think long and hard about your next visit to one. 

Who is STILL Buying Creepy Dolls?!

So I normally don’t do movies with subtitles. I know that sounds childish but that takes a lot of concentration and I don’t really be here for it. But Netflix kept flashing some movie named Sabrina across my screen and I was intrigued. I watched the trailer and I was scared so I broke my subtitle rule and gave this a chance and it gave ME an anxiety attack. 

Sabrina is a part of a series of movies called The Doll. I didn’t watch the other movies and you don’t need to either to understand this one. Maira and Aiden adopt Vanya, Aiden’s niece, after her parents die. Vanya is having a hard time adapting to her new life and she really misses her mother. A kid at school teaches her a game called “Charlie Charlie” and once she plays the game by herself at home things get real. 

This movie was seriously creepy. There weren’t even a lot of jump scares- it was just all scary. Like the movie started with a possessed woman stuck to the side of a house. I was like “Wow ok-this is what we doing.” The acting in the movie wasn’t that great. Despite the movie being in a different language, the emotions seemed phony and forced. But some of the best movies on Netflix have the worst acting so I got past that. 

I will say that my issue with movies with plots like this is why don’t people ever get mad at the kid? If MY child summoned a demon I would seriously consider giving it up because who raised you? Whew Chile couldn’t be me. I can’t sleep comfortably at night wondering if you’re about to bring on the apocalypse. You gotta go baby sis. Nice knowing you. 

Sabrina wasn’t the best horror film of the year. It’s not even in the running. But it was fun to watch and a good quick scare. Give it a chance and let me know your thoughts in the comments! 

Same Struggle, Different Day: Tales from the Hood 2 Steps Into the Present

Tales from the Hood is one of my favorite scary movies (I know- I say this a lot. But my scary movies are ranked in different categories. Leave me alone sis). If you are unfamiliar with this classic 90s anthology movie I suggest you check it out. The movie, executive produced by Spike Lee, discussed issues plaguing the African American community (police brutality, gang culture, etc.) and turned them into horror stories. This concept is also what I believe made Get Out so popular- real issues dramatized and turned into our greatest fears as African Americans. The stories in that movie all resonated with me. Even at a young age I understood the powerful messages behind the short stories. So imagine my delight when one of my friends sent me a link to the poster for Tales from the Hood 2! I couldn’t believe it! The sequel is executive produced by Spike Lee, just like the original, and follows the same theme- a storyteller walking characters through different stories with a message. 

Overall, I really enjoyed this movie. Keith David was the perfect casting choice for the new storyteller. He really can play any role, from New-New’s dad to Pastor Greenleaf, he is one of my faves. The stories definitely resonated with today’s trying times. Of course the character he is telling the stories to, Dumass Beach (I really loved this play on words. Perfect!) basically embodies all the MAGA hatred that is going on in this country. This movie touched on so many important issues such as African Americans in politics voting against their own people, allowing other races to belittle our culture and appropriate it, rebuilding the black community, and so much more. I would say the one story that I felt was a little forced was the vampire tale. Of course this one was necessary to speak to the #MeToo movement but the story felt very forced. However, it was still very important to mention this super important movement that is all over the headlines. The original and the sequel really did a perfect job of taking stories from the headlines and from within our community and showing the viewer that there really is horror within the truth. Basically, it’s a movie about Kanye. But I digress.

Although this sequel came 22 years later, it did not disappoint. Watch it on Netflix and share your thoughts! 

Hulu's "The Body" Does Not Disappoint

I was so excited when I learned that Blumhouse and Hulu were teaming up to create Into the Dark. Into the Dark is a monthly anthology film series that will feature a new scary movie every month, for 12 months, based on a holiday that falls in that month. First up- “The Body.”

“The Body” tells the story of a hitman who has to transport a body in a short amount of time on Halloween night. Of course he blends in with the crowd and everyone thinks he has the coolest costume... until it gets real and they realize this is far from a Party City prop. 

I really enjoyed this film. It kept me intrigued with lots of action. Typically I do not care for a lot of gore in my horror movies but this one did not overdo it. Even though you are basically thrust into this story after the murder has taken place, you never feel lost or confused about what is going on. The story has comedic relief throughout provided by the random group of friends who are running from the killer all while trying to save the body and take it to the police for reward money they just imagine they’ll get (because SURPRISE- the dead body is a celebrity)

The ending was a very interesting plot twist that I kinda didn’t see coming. 

Watch on Hulu and give me your feedback below!

Malevolent: Another Netflix Horror Movie...Another Netflix Letdown

Someone recently asked me what I felt about scary movies on Netflix. I paused and thought about this. I told them that there are some hidden gems but for the most part they really suck. I thought Malevolent would be different. So I gave it a chance. 

Malevolent is about two siblings, Jackson and Angela, who run a fake ghost-busting business. Angela has “visions” and they use equipment to trick the client into thinking they are really ridding their homes of evil, only to take their money and run. The movie starts slowly, giving a little back story about how the siblings’ mother committed suicide (she sliced her eyes out because she was having visions). The movie is set in the 1980s (not really sure why- maybe they just wanted to drive a hooptie and wear Cosby sweaters). Although Angela is a “fake” medium, it appears she really is having visions, just like her mother did before she killed herself. The real thrill of the movie comes when Jackson agrees to take on a case at an old, haunted orphanage with a dark history. The owner of the house is super stressed out and lets the Ghostbusters know, “I just want a quiet house.” The house is so creepy and foreboding that this is where I thought to myself, “OK this is getting good!” But then… it didn’t.

Malevolent is a slow movie from start to finish with the characters making really weird choices (there is a scene where a character falls through the floor and breaks his ankle but no one rushes to get him out or call 911). This movie attempts to build up the creepy tension in this old house but completely lets the audience down. To be honest, I fell asleep on this movie and had to re-watch the last 20 minutes. I fell asleep somewhere around when everyone managed to escape and then nonsensically crashed into a ditch. (This is what I mean about Netflix movies. Where’s the logic?) The biggest surprise of the movie is (plot twist) the woman they were supposed to be scamming actually killed the children (now it makes sense that she just wanted a quiet house).

There was a lot of hope for the character development of Jackson and Angela but the writers let us down in that department too. They touch on Angela having visions like her mother but that storyline doesn’t really get us anywhere.

Malevolent started slow, ended slow, and proved my point in the conversation that I had the other day- Netflix can’t seem to make a decent horror movie.

The Nun Review *Spoilers Ahead!*

You know that feeling when you have been craving some super bomb food for a really long time from your favorite place? Then you go to your favorite place and you order it and it’s not good? Like at all? That’s what The Nun was like.

With a tagline that boasts “Witness the darkest chapter in The Conjuring Universe” some big scares were definitely expected. The Nun is a spinoff of 2016’s The Conjuring 2. In that film, Lorraine Warren is haunted by a demon that looks like a nun. This film, set in 1952, is the prequel to The Conjuring movies. After seeing Annabelle Creation last year (one of the scariest movies I have ever seen) I expected way more from The Nun.

Let’s start here- the movie didn’t really have a plot. The Vatican sends a priest (played by Demian Bichir) and a “nun in training” (played by Vera Farmiga’s sister Taissa) to a cloistered abbey in Romania to investigate a nun’s suicide. They are aided by a man from the local village named Frenchie. Frenchie found the body of the nun and Father Burke and Sister Irene use him for information on the history of the abbey. The narrative has lots of holes in the plot. The movie never really explains why the Vatican selected Father Burker and Sister Irene other than they both have troubled pasts. The main story of the movie was really how these two people who are supposed to have the strongest of faith can question God. Sister Irene ends up taking her vows to become a nun during the climax. Their happy ending was their ability to stand firm in their faith after vanquishing (or so they thought) the demon.

The Nun also alters a scene from The Conjuring 2 to show that Frenchie is the possessed man shown during the lecture the Warrens are giving. This seemed like a really forced way to tie these movies together, unlike how they found a way to connect the two Annabelle movies.

 The movie is full of jump scares that make you feel dumb for being scared after you jump. The movie is very dark and has an ominous feel to it. This movie delves the most into religion and spirituality, but mainly to tell the story of the main characters’ test of faith. The Nun is a great example of a movie franchise that should quit while they’re ahead (hello Insidious: The Last Key).

Definitely the darkest chapter in The Conjuring universe. Definitely not the scariest.

Something Wicked This Way Comes...

For as long as I can remember I have been obsessed with horror movies. I was a little kid scaring myself senseless watching Tales from the Hood, Child’s Play, and Final Destination. I stressed my parents out with my obsessions with Sabrina the Teenage Witch, The Craft, and Charmed (they totally thought I was trying to become a witch in real life). Supernatural has been my favorite TV show since I was 15 and I am always in the theater on the release date of new scary movies. I love all things autumn (except the disgrace that is pumpkin spice) and Halloween brings me so much joy. I have seen Get Out no less than 30 times (if you don’t know why this is the scariest movie ever created then you are probably part of the problem…) From this love of all things scary and suspenseful Black Girl Horror was born! Stay tuned for reviews on new movies, TV shows, and much more.  I am so excited to share my labor of love with everyone reading this. Let’s get scary!